Pineapple on Pizza is Actually Good, And Our Other Most Controversial Food Opinions

There are certain topics that are strictly off limits: who you voted for in the election, how much you weigh, how that rash on your back is doing…

Food should not be one of them.

Food is one of the only things we quite literally cannot live without, but, with billions of people on the planet, it only makes sense that some of our tastes are different. 

Some of our food tastes are so unlike the majority of the population that they may be perceived as weird. 

Let’s celebrate those freaks who march (or chew) to the beat of their own drum.

Here are the hottest food takes.

Olives are disgusting

I don’t understand how these salty orbs of nastiness find their way into so many dishes.

Pizza, Greek salad, muffaletta sandwiches, or just on their own! I love an appetizer more than just about anybody, but when it’s an array of olives of different colors and sizes and marinades, it’s a major let-down.

And how did olives become a fixture in martinis? Adding olive juice makes it “dirty,” which tells you all you need to know about these slimy balls.

Olives should never be anywhere near your plate.

Pineapple on pizza is delicious

I’ve never understood how pineapples became a pariah of a pizza topping. It’s like cilantro…you either love it or you gag at the thought. 

I’m in the former category. Pineapple is fantastic on pizza. Its sweetness cuts the saltiness of other toppings like ham and pepperoni (or olives, if you’re into that kind of thing) and the juiciness adds a nice textural contrast to the rest of the pizza. 

Pro tip: get pineapple and jalapeno together for a sensational blend of sweet and spicy. 

Cupcakes are a weak dessert

Cupcakes are stuck in a swamp of mediocrity. They’re not the best at anything in the dessert category.

There’s better single-serving baked goods (brownies and cookies), better treats in this shape (muffins), and better formats to consume a cake-like treat (such as…a slice of cake).

The proportions just don’t work. There’s usually too much frosting, and once that’s gone, you’re stuck with a cake that’s drier and blander than it should be.

Whether it’s bite-sized or bigger than your head, a cupcake is just never the move. Think and answer this question honestly: when’s the last time you really craved a cupcake?

Eggs do not belong on a burger

Yes, it’s aesthetically pleasing to see the runny yolk, but then what happens? How does eating the rest of that burger go? The egg slides out, the yolk gets on your hand, and the added flavor is negligible at best.

On a side note, restaurants and cooking influencers need to relax with overly stacked sandwiches. Sure, a burger with lobster tail on top or a hot dog stuffed with fried mac and cheese balls sounds great, but things quickly go off the rails.

Sandwiches are getting too idealistic when they should be practical. 

I miss froyo

Frozen yogurt had itself a damn moment in the early 2010s. Every other shopping center had a Yogli Mogli or Yoforia or Mikhail Yogorbachev (I made this one up but it very well may have existed at some point). Now a majority of them has disappeared (based on no data other than how many fewer I notice while driving around) and it’s a shame.

Was the frozen yogurt itself particularly good? Not usually, but you had access to infinite samples. And the toppings. Oh, the toppings!

Nowhere else could you get Cap’n Crunch, mochi, peanut M&Ms, and blueberries all in one spoonful. Ice cream spots like Jeni’s have become far more prevalent and the product is significantly tastier, but it’s just not the same wild card that froyo was with all those toppings.

Additionally, the practice of pricing food based on its weight should be used for every food in every restaurant. 

McDonald’s fries are just fine

I love McDonald’s. Nothing hits better on a hungover Sunday morning than an Egg McMuffin and a hash brown, but their flagship burger and fries leave something to be desired. 

In particular, the fries have been placed on a pedestal they don’t deserve to be on. McDonald’s and their fries peaked in quality in the 1980s and 1990s. Until 1992, they were deep fried in beef tallow; now they’re fried in a nondescript vegetable oil. I was not a cognizant fast food patron back then but there must be a reason why they’re held in such high regard when the actual taste falls short?

Plenty of fast food places have better fries — Wendy’s, Chick-fil-A…even Arby’s! However, credit where it’s due: their hash browns are fantastic and should be available all day. In fact…

Breakfast food should be served all day

We as a society need to break down the barriers of certain foods only being able to be eaten at certain times of day. Some are breakfast foods — eggs, biscuits, sausage — and others are lunch or dinner foods — salads, hot dogs, mac and cheese.

We’ve come close enough functionally, but we just need to get there conceptually. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is as sweet and delectable as any dessert you can order. The only difference between hash browns and french fries is shape, yet if you ordered an omelette with a side of fries, you’d be ridiculed. If I can enjoy a Caesar salad equally at 7:00 PM or 7:00 AM, then what makes one better than the other? Who says a bagel is any less valid as my last meal of the day than as my first? And why can’t I start my day with a nice cup of turkey chili?

If you want to eat oatmeal for dinner or fries with your pancakes, then I say godspeed.

Bloody Marys are disgusting

Vodka is great. Unless it’s the cheap stuff, it doesn’t have much of a taste and mixes well with all types of mixers. But what was going wrong in somebody’s life when they had vodka and thought “You know what this needs? Tomato juice, Worcestershire sauce, and hot sauce!”

That’s a revolting mix of things that don’t belong in a drink. It’s like you took the ingredients for a Polish soup recipe from the 1920s and decided to drink it in a way that gets you drunk. 

Some restaurants go absolutely overboard with the “garnish”, which often just becomes a meal in itself. “Hey enjoy this nasty drink with a slider, three pieces of shrimp, and a piece of pickled okra” (actually now that I’m writing it out, that tradeoff might be worth it).

Tuna fish sandwiches are repulsive

“Yeah it smells bad but tastes good!”

If you have to make this concession before you eat anything, maybe it’s a mistake.

At lunchtime, why go for the room-clearer of tuna fish when there’s chicken salad, egg salad, or…I mean…anything else to eat for lunch?

What’s the deal with deviled eggs?

This is just a ridiculous way to consume an egg.

Truffle oil is overused

Truffles are one of the most beloved foods in the world, referred to as “the diamond of the kitchen.” They’re rich and quite pungent, and most chefs agree that less is more when it comes to this potent fungus (in part because of how expensive they are). Having shaved truffles in your tagliatelle or your cauliflower soup used to be a special occasion, but now any and every gastropub or sports bar has something like truffle fries or veggies doused in truffle oil. 

Truffle oil often doesn’t even contain truffles, and yet it’s riding the rails to high-class thanks to the bona fide truffles that earned the initial prestige.

Let’s keep truffles in their original form and keep their imposter oil off the side dishes we’re having with a burger.